Wednesday, November 30, 2022 8:01 pm

Letterman’s Top Ten for Tuesday, Aug. 14, Thursday Aug. 16

 

Other Corporate Promotional Vehicles

10. Boar’s Head Ham-bulance

9. Weight Watchers Blimp

8. Chef Boy-R.V.

7. General Motors Car-Mobile

6. Slim Jim-ousine

5. Fox News Hot Air Balloon

4.Jimmy Dean Pork-Lift

3. Haggar Slacks-icab

2. Cialis Limp Dinghy

1. Walmart Chinese Junk

Top Ten Rejected Lionel Richie Song Lyrics

10. Hello? This connection’s pretty bad // I can’t hear you very well // I want to meet me where? // Let me call you from a landline // Are you there?

9. Odd-behaving squirrel // You may be rabid

8. There was Portman, Daniels, Christie, Pawlenty // For the VP run // We had Rubio, Santorum, Demint and Condoleezza // They’d all be so much fun // But Paul Ryan won! (Paul Ryan) Paul Ryan (Paul Ryan) // He’s got guns (Paul Ryan)

7. I couldn’t help noticing your house is such a dump // The whole place is in disorder // Magazines and piles of things cover everything up // Never knew you were a hoarder // Turns out it’s eBay (Ah Ah Ah) // This eBay crap is habit-forming

6. Oh what a feeling // They raised the national debt ceiling

5. Stuck on you // I bet you wish you weren’t drunk // When you went and got that tattoo // Yes it’s truly lame // That you misspelled your name

4. Slip out of your robe, hear my plea // I’m guilty of wanting to hold you near me // Judge Judy!

3. You were right (so right) // I spoiled my appetite // Eating hors d’oeuvres // Olive Garden serves // Those endless breadsticks

2. Preparing for the beach // There are places we can’t reach // I’ll spray you, you spray me // With aerosol sunscreen // SPF 15

1. Mitt’s got a beach house // Car elevator // Brings Cadillacs up and down // Mitt’s got a beach house

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