10. It’s no longer enough just to be good-looking
9. Always whining about the need for food and shelter
8. Not enough guys named “Mitt”
7. Only a very few have genuinely lustrous hair
6. Jealous look they give walking through first class on the way to coach
5. Refuse to get high-paying jobs
4. Always throw a fit when they’re fired
3. Servants who feel entitled to occasional eye contact
2. Those who think it’s a bad idea to drive with dog strapped to roof of car
1. Wouldn’t know a good Chateaubriand if it bit them in the ass
