10. You don’t have to be gay to enjoy a gay cruise
9. Ferdinand and Isabella hated the nickname “Ferdabella”
8. Columbus need not outrun the cannibals; he just has to outrun you
7. Sandals Resorts have a strict “couples only” policy
6. A certain plus-sized woman named Niña didn’t appreciate seeing her name on a boat
5. Crew is more likely to eat their rations with melted cheese on top
4. There’s a rock formation near Guadalupe that looks like two people doin’ it
3. Those anti-seasickness wristbands do nothing
2. People love three-day mattress sales
1. For live shipboard entertainment, you can’t beat Regis
