Letterman’s Top Ten for Saturday, October 6, 2012 — Things You Don’t Expect To Hear From A Professional Football Player

10. Sorry, didn’t mean to tackle you so hard

9. Your mouth guard tastes fantastic

8. Stop pushing

7. Has anyone seen my yarmulke?

6. Grass stains – ewww

5. You haven’t really read Wittgenstein until you’ve read him in the original German

4. Roger Goodell is a genius

3. No steroids for me, thanks

2. Blimp! Run for your lives!

1. I want to play for the Jets

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