9. Your mouth guard tastes fantastic
8. Stop pushing
7. Has anyone seen my yarmulke?
6. Grass stains – ewww
5. You haven’t really read Wittgenstein until you’ve read him in the original German
4. Roger Goodell is a genius
3. No steroids for me, thanks
2. Blimp! Run for your lives!
1. I want to play for the Jets