10. Anti-depressant Tang
9. 105-Hour Energy
8. Tab with Nicotine
7. Non-snooty Perrier
6. Gatoroid: Steroid-enriched Gatorade
5. Orange soda that tastes like grape soda
3. Sunny Delight with UV Protection
2. Brokeback Mountain Dew, The First Gay Soda
1. Mustache-resistant milk