10. Artificially enhanced his cycling shorts
9. Still never leaves the house without several vials of clean urine
8. Owns Texas real estate known as “Rancho Decepto”
7. Took steroids to work up the strength to admit taking steroids
6. Once had an inappropriate relationship with an air hose
5. Also has tattoo of Rex Ryan’s wife
4. Has given up on making the baseball Hall of Fame
3. United States Postal Service paid him in stamps
2. Started erotic website, “Tour-De-Pants”
1. Admitted to doping just to get on “Oprah”
