10. Tries to guess your weight
9. Always carries a hacksaw and a bottle of scotch
8. Tells you to open your mouth and say, “Ahmadinejad”
7. Seems more focused on his career as a doctor-themed stripper
6. Wonders aloud, “What would Dr. Conrad Murray do?”
5. Always suggests he “kisses it to make it feel better”
4. Instead of colonoscopy, draws sketch of your colon
3. Uses defibrillator to make waffles
2. To every question, he replies, “Let’s Google it”
1. Asks you to turn your head and call him sometime
