Letterman’s Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Sneakers

Top 1010. “Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right…”

9. “You call this jogging?”

8. “Talking to your shoes–nice life you’ve carved out for yourself”

7. “Can you introduce me to your sister’s pumps?”

6. “I’d like to talk with you about a reverse mortgage”

5. “Surely you see the irony of a lazy slob wearing athletic shoes”

4. “I found your glasses”

3. “You’re no Dr. Scholl”

2. “Who’s stupid enough to buy talking shoes?”

1. “You’re crushing me, fat ass”

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