Letterman’s Top Ten Least Impressive Auction Items

Top 1010. Rice thrown at a Kardashian wedding

9. Autographed photo of Brad Pitt’s accountant

8. Any Lance Armstrong memorabilia

7. Auctioneer’s half-finished lunch

6. Bible signed by a guy who looks like Jesus

5. Richard Nixon’s junk mail

4. The shoes Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin wore yesterday

3. Shellacked replica of Fred Astaire’s favorite sandwich

2. Water bottle that may or may not have been used by Marco Rubio

1. Dinner with Andy Dick

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