10. “In a world where waffles do not exist…”
9. “From the director who once met the nephew of the director who brought you ‘The Godfather'”
8. “Meryl Streep is New Jersey Governor Chris Christie”
7. “Come see the film ‘Entertainment Weekly’ calls ’97 minutes in length'”
6. “Starring Tom Hanks, but not that Tom Hanks”
5. “The incredible, true story of a teenager’s monkey, seized by German authorities”
4. “Strap yourself in for two hours you’ll never get back”
3. “Coming soon, another asinine movie about vampires”
2. “Special Sneak Preview at midnight in my van”
1. “Anthony Weiner in 3-D”
