Letterman’s Top Ten Bad Press Conference Opening Lines

Top 1010. “Allow me to introduce the entire Danger family”

9. “My pants will be arriving shortly”

8. “Does this look like a bullseye rash?”

7. “It was never my intention to get caught”

6. “I’d like to thank my wives for standing here beside me”

5. “I’ll keep this short because I need to flee the country”

4. “I am so high right now”

3. “Florida law says: If I don’t like your questions, I can shoot you”

2. “I thought I said no fat chicks”

1. “Look at you sorry sons of bitches”

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