Letterman’s Top Ten John McCain Excuses for Playing Poker on Cell Phone During Hearing

Top 1010. “Leave me alone — I’m a hundred years old”

9. “Can’t gamble in casinos since getting caught counting cards”

8. “Relax, it’s just a war hearing”

7. “Is Reagan upset?”

6. “I was on the phone with IBM headquarters in Dallas”

5. “Still able to pay attention to hearings on Iraq or Iran or whatever”

4. “At least it wasn’t some sissy game like ‘Bejeweled’ ”

3. “Someone has to win back our $17 trillion”

2. “Better idea than Palin”

1. “Calm down, it wasn’t strip poker”

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