Cutting remarks about Phoenix media priorities and food snobs

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From the Rose Law Group Growlery

By Phil Riske | Senior Reporter/Writer

Open any Valley newspaper and your bound to find everything from The Race to Become the Best Pizza Joint in Town to the opening of three new quiche lorraine drive-thru restaurants.

We are hooked on food and news about it.

As I was preparing our Sunday dinner of pork chops and my special apple and onion sauce (not into poo-foo food), I run the kitchen knife through the end of a finger, one of the occupational hazards of a home chef.

So to rest one of my tying fingers, I’m bringing back two of my columns about food and the people who make, serve and eat it.

April 14, 2015 Media and Mashed Potatoes

Please allow me to take a backdoor approach to the subject at hand—eating out.

When I began a news career, it was unheard of to write stories about new businesses or anything that smelled of commercialism. The attitude was businesses had to buy advertising to make themselves known. (The same journalistic philosophy carried into coverage of even auto accidents; you didn’t dare reveal the kinds of cars involved for fear of libeling the automaker.)

Needless to say, times have changed. Business news is a major portion of today’s news coverage.

In Phoenix, for example, eateries get a lot of ink. Restaurant owners could be aware surveys show most Americans still cook at home most nights. CBS reported 43 percent cook six or seven nights per week, including 31 percent that cook at home every night.

I checked the list of Phoenix media sites and found the following headlines — for today alone:

Native Grill & Wings’ expansion taking off

BRKFST restaurant, club opens in Scottsdale

20 places for hamburgers in metro Phoenix

Oregano’s opens second location in Phoenix’s West Valley

Oregano’s, Grimaldi’s, Postino push back in PHX Food Fight

Slickables opens new location in Mesa

Native Grill & Wings debuts new name at grand re-opening (with video)

15 Worst Fast Food Failures Ever

New Scottsdale breakfast spot brings remodeled flare to the table

Fez in Central Phoenix Gets It Right

The Trail: Josh Hebert of Posh Restaurant Makes Goma Ramen

I have now broken with decades-old teachings with the above list,

Burp!

June 4, 2014 Waiter, my soup is cold

Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam . . .

That’s a line from a song about Wyoming, my home state, and if you’re from the Rocky Mountain West, you’re a meat and potatoes guy. You drink wine from a box, without all the sniffing the bouquet, lip/tongue sampling, swishing in the goblet and intellectual discussions common among what I call wine snobs.

When I left Wyoming for Washington, D.C. I discovered there also are food snobs, not only by the types of dishes preferred, but also how they’re served.

You’ve probably heard the joke about the diner who ordered steak tartare “medium well.” Well, that was me before a dinner at the upscale Palms Restaurant in downtown D.C.

Who in the world would eat raw beef? Food snobs.

At another dinner in the Nation’s Capitol, I nearly spit out a spoonful of what I though was tomato soup.

I turned to my wife and said the host should be told the soup is cold.

“It’s vichyssoise, you idiot,” she said.

Who in the hell wants cold soup? Food snobs.

After the main course, here comes salad.

What? Salad at the end of the meal? You’re kidding.

No kidding among food snobs.

Quiche lorraine? No thanks. Sushi? Ugh. Forget all that foo foo food.

Whenever food is discussed. I become the subject of ridicule when I mention I like canned peas. People scream at the top of their lungs, CANNED PEAS? AHHHHRGH!

Damn food snobs. Who wants peas that are all wrinkly, I ask you?

I must admit I know only one other person who likes canned peas — my doctor!

Well, I’m off to have a side of buffalo, a stack of mashed potatoes and gravy and canned peas.

Have a nice dinner.

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