Did I hear you say you’re leaving me?

From the Rose Law Group Growlery

Even with expensive hearing aids, I still struggle to make out what people are saying. Some people joke that being mostly deaf is a blessing when it comes to being chewed out by one’s wife.

It’s no blessing because she becomes a very frustrated spouse, suffering from “double-talk,” having to repeat (at least once) what she said.

So, I’ve got to come up with a tactic to make whatever I say in response to her questions will be an sensible answer.

It will be a risk, but worth trying.

If I answer “ yes” or “no, I’ve got a 50-50 chance of bunting to get on first base safely.

Wife: “What are you fixing for dinner?”

“Yes”

As you can see, the yes-no tactic doesn’t work when specifics are required.

Let’s try “maybe.”

Are you happy I won $300 in the Lottery?

“Maybe.”

“WHAT? MAYBE?”

I could take a gamble if it sounded like a number were required.

What time are we supposed to be at the Smiths for dinner?”

“14.”

Face it, there is no sure way to fake a conversation with your spouse, unless you’re a master lip reader. She’s only going to double-talk, then yell before responding with only a glare.

Seeking undeserved sympathy, I’ve asked her if she would like to trade places — she being the one hard of hearing?

Glare.

“Why don’t you write a column about it?”

“86.”

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