How our housing choices make adult friendships more difficult

We can refuse to accept the status quo of default isolation

By David Roberts | Vox

I often think about a piece I read in the Atlantic, by Julie Beck, called “How Friendships Change in Adulthood.” I suspect it will ring true for Vox readers of, uh, a certain age. Like my age, for instance. Old, is what I’m saying.

I do think, however, that Beck left out an interesting piece of the puzzle. Our ability to form and maintain friendships is shaped in crucial ways by the physical spaces in which we live. “Land use,” as it’s rather aridly known, shapes behavior and sociality. And in America we have settled on patterns of land use that might as well have been designed to prevent spontaneous encounters, the kind out of which rich social ties are built.

We get by with a little less help from our friends

It’s a familiar tale that Beck tells: Early in life, friendships are central to our development and sense of self. This is true right up through to those early post-collegiate years, when everyone is starting out in their professional lives.

And then people get married. They have kids. Their parents get older and need more care. They settle into careers. All those obligations — spouses, kids, family, work — are things we have to do. Friendships are things we choose to do. And that means, when time constricts and things get busy, friendships often get bumped.

READ ON:

Share this!

Additional Articles

Rose Law Group pc values “outrageous client service.” We pride ourselves on hyper-responsiveness to our clients’ needs and an extraordinary record of success in achieving our clients’ goals. We know we get results and our list of outstanding clients speaks to the quality of our work.

News Categories
December 2018
M T W T F S S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31