STOP the Steal, Arizona! Everybody knows the Suns won and if not, you’re ‘fake news’

There is no way the Phoenix Suns didn’t win last night’s game and the NBA championship. Everybody knows it. I hereby demand that Sen. Fann immediately launch an audit and STOP the Steal./ quickmeme

By Laurie Roberts | Arizona Republic

(Editor’s note: Opinion/satire pieces are published only to extend coverage of an issue and to stir comments from our readers.)

A crime has been committed, Arizona. A theft for the ages. Where oh where is Senate President Karen Fann and her crack team of ninjas when we need them?

Where is state Republican Party Chairwoman Kelli Ward with her hourly cry to “Stop the Steal” and state Sen. Wendy Rogers with her demand for a do-over and  Rep. Mark Finchem with new T-shirts to hawk?

Not one word have we heard from Sen. Paul Gosar, yet Anglo Saxons across the state are in mourning – as is every Arizonan who bleeds red, white and blue and purple and orange.

The proof is there, unless you’re just too corrupt to see it.

Just ask David Branch of the Village of Oak Creek. He first sounded the alarm in an email to me on Wednesday morning.

“The Phoenix Suns championship run was stolen from them last night! STOLEN!” he wrote. “To start with, the announcers said there were 65,000 fans outside the arena. Their count was way off. They didn’t show the millions of Suns fans crowding the mall. Millions. I’ve got pictures to prove it.”

We wuz robbed, all right. Everybody knows it.


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July 2021