Phil Riske
Senior Reporter/Writer
Political polarization.
Disunity.
Chaos.
So, in the spirit of doing what I can do to melt polarization, I decided to get off my butt and take action to narrow differences that plague the American citizenry and politics.
- I will work to prevent further melting of the Ice Cap
- I will fuel my car with coal.
- I will pay for any medical charges out of my own pocket.
- I will sell all my stock out of distrust for Wall Street.
- I will do everything possible to become a millionaire.
- I will watch Fox News.
- I will agree with everyone’s political and religious beliefs.
- =I will tear down the wall separating my property from my neighbors.
- I will pay my student loan.
- I will not trade baseball cards with someone from China.
- Finally, Republican motorists tend to pass on the right, Democrats on the left. If either cuts me off in traffic, I will blow them a kiss.
There, I’ll do my part. Will you?,
