By Keith Walther | Rose Law Group Reporter
If this was based on a true story, the late Brandon Lee would rise from the grave to exact vengeance upon those responsible for the making of this atrocious film. “The Crow” is a remake of that classic of the same name from 1994, and it fails to live up to the original in just about every way possible. Antiquated writing, aimless direction, and horrific acting dooms this production from the beginning and leaves fans of the original angrier than watching the ill-advised sequels.
On the run from powerful people over incriminating the evidence she has, Shelly Webster (FKA twigs) literally runs into the cops, who immediately arrest her for drug possession and admit her into a rehab type of prison. Here she crosses paths with the sullenly quiet, tattoo enthusiast Eric Draven (Bill Skarsgård), and the soulmates experience love at first sight. Easily escaping the confines of the pathetically secured facility, they begin their montage of love and infatuation while taking more drugs of course.
Shelly’s past catches up with them, and the lovers are murdered together. True love never dies, however, and Eric is resurrected to seek revenge on those responsible for their deaths. Equipped with the ability to quickly regenerate from any injury and some poorly applied black facial make-up that makes him look like a cracked-out lunatic, Eric goes on a murderous rampage through the city that seemingly has no police presence. His main adversary, Vincent Roeg (Danny Huston), has his own special power to sinisterly growl in a person’s ear, which apparently turns the victim into a demonically possessed zombie.
There are no shortages of really bad remakes, but “The Crow” is one of the worst, and director Rupert Sanders shoulders much of the blame. Featuring the main characters as broken miscreants themselves, he doesn’t convey much in the way of empathy from the audience. The decision to depict the Eric Draven character with head to foot tattoos is reminiscent of Jared Leto’s failed version of the Joker in “Suicide Squad.” Then Rupert opts for a prolonged introduction of the main characters that features an overly long montage of romance to unsuccessfully convince the audience these two characters are deeply in love. This only lulls viewers to sleep as they wait for the transformation of Eric Draven into the vengeful spirit of invincibility.
When it comes to the action sequences, because Rupert fails to achieve any connectivity to the characters in the beginning, they fall disastrously flat. The film lacks the energy, passion, and soul the original captured so well. The director tries to mimic a similar style of soundtrack as the original film, but again comes up short. The 1994 film featured some of the best songs from bands like Stone Temple Pilots, The Cure, and Nine Inch Nails that exquisitely captured the vibe of the movie. He also commits inexcusable flaws in editing such as words not matching up with lips, indicative of lazy voice over patches.
It’s impossible not to compare Bill Skarsgård with Brandon Lee, who died while playing this role. While Bill has considerably more acting talent than Lee, he doesn’t even come close to matching the charisma and passion that Brandon brought to this part. It’s not for lack of effort as Bill prepared for the role with an extremely strict diet and extensive training to achieve a ripped physique. Unfortunately, he still appears completely awkward and ill at ease throughout the entire film, not to mention he had zero on-screen chemistry with his co-star.
FKA twigs offers up one of the most lifeless, dullest, and ineffectual performances of the year. Her constant vacant stares with mouth halfway agape and expressionless facial reactions could easily have been replaced with an animatronics doll. Clearly, she should stick with her music career and leave the acting to others with a pulse.
There’s a reason why this film is bombing at the box office, it is one of the worst films of the year. “The Crow” will make you want to peck out your own eyes. The only thing it does well is make you appreciate the original even more. Watch Brandon Lee’s version instead, it holds up, especially in comparison to this soulless carrion feeder.
This movie earns:
