Keith’s Movie Korner: ‘Moana 2′ is nothing more than a rotting boat snack

By Keith Walther | Rose Law Group Reporter

Calling this Disney animated sequel a slimy cash grab would be too kind. While the animation may still be pleasant to look at, “Moana 2” features some of the laziest writing and direction audiences are subjected to this year. Not even the songs were good enough to pull this schlock from the depths of the sea.

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After a lackluster musical opening showing Moana (Auli’i Cravalho) exploring nearby islands in search of other people she is convinced exist, she returns home with evidence of a forgotten island. Receiving signs from her ancestors to find this hidden island, she immediately sets off on another journey, but this time with a crew that seems to offer very little outside of emotional support. Moni (Hualalai Chung) is a fanboy who makes random tapestries, Kele (David Fane) is a grumpy old farmer who hates the sea, and Loto (Rose Matafeo) is somewhat useful as a shipwright but is more of a perfectionist.

Together with that same chicken Hei Hei (Alan Tudyk) and Moana’s pet piglet Pua, they embark in uncharted waters. Of course, they run into Moana’s old demi-god friend Maui (Dwayne Johnson), whom they must rescue from a random bat-lady named Matangi (Khaleei Lambert-Tsuda). Even with Maui’s help, the challenges that the odd team must overcome to find this mysterious island may be too difficult.

In 2016, “Moana” was a terrific success for Disney and rightfully so with solid direction, captivating storytelling, witty dialogue, and one entertaining song after another. Disney chooses to replace the director team, most of the writers, and the decorated songwriter Lin-Manuel Miranda, so the resulting dumpster fire that is “Moana 2” should not come as a surprise. The introduction of new characters, designed to breathe life into the sequel, is instead completely pointless, serving almost no purpose whatsoever. Subplots are set up that make viewers believe they have an important purpose in the main storyline but end up being completely forgotten like the bat-lady character. She’s initially introduced as the primary antagonist only to inexplicably fade from the story altogether. The inexcusably sloppy filmmaking is almost as shocking as the weak musical numbers. Unlike the first film, there is not a single memorable song throughout the duration.

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The quality of the animation is the only thing that makes a triumphant return. The splendidly colorful and vibrant display is almost enough to blind viewers to the production’s many flaws, but like a maggot infested corpse, the ugliness shines through its façade. The team of directors make a lame effort to provide amusement through eye rolling jokes and tattoo humor. In fact, they spend an exorbitant amount of time focusing on Maui’s tattoos with constant interactions between the tattoos and the characters. Regardless, the surface value of the film’s prettiness will likely net this disappointing sequel a handsome profit, even though it is the worst animated film of the year.

Sure, there may be enough flashy colors to entertain the smallest of children, but the inexcusably poor writing couldn’t hold the attention of a fish if it was a squiggly worm wriggling in front of it. These are the types of sequels that used to go straight to video, but “Moana 2” is not even good enough for that treatment. Avoid giving any of your hard-earned money and time to Disney, there are significantly better movies with which to entertain your family, like “Wicked” or “The Wild Robot.”

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