By Keith Walther | Rose Law Group Reporter
Well, it only took three weeks into the new year before a frontrunner for worst film of the year presents itself. “Return to Silent Hill” is a new horror film adapted from the 2001 video game “Silent Hill 2” by Konami. Like most video game adaptations into feature films, it not only misses the mark, but it also completely backfires into a mound of refuse from visionless direction to awful acting.
Painter turned alcoholic James Sunderland (Jeremy Irvine) has been wracked with guilt ever since he left his girlfriend Mary Crane (Hannah Emily Anderson) in a cute, lakeside town called Silent Hill. So, naturally he returns to find his love, only the town is quite different since he last visited as the sun is hidden behind clouds of falling ash and then turning into a nightmarish hellscape every so often. Undeterred, James wanders the village, trying to avoid various monsters along the way like the armless/faceless humanoids that belch out a black corrosive acid from their bellies, or the flesh-eating scarabs, or the massive, grunting man with a street cone made of metal for a helmet and an oversized sword.
French filmmaker Christophe Gans, who also helmed the original “Silent Hill” adaptation in 2006, returns to direct this new horror entry, which is not a sequel but a standalone production. That original production he directed is one of the rare video game adaptations that works with a more cohesive narrative and solid horror techniques. This is also the acclaimed director for the 2001 French horror film, “Brotherhood of the Wolf,” which was one of the better foreign language films to release that year. So, for the wheels to completely fall off in the making of this movie is a shocking embarrassment.
The narrative is all over the place, recklessly shifting from one flashback sequence to the next, failing to tie them together in any meaningful way while depicting the current time as almost an ongoing nightmare with brief transitions to reality that only confuse the audience as to what is really happening or not happening. To make matters worse, Christophe spends no time developing the main characters, inhibiting any kind of attachment or care in how it plays out. There is a very unfocused purpose for each scene that makes the film wander aimlessly to a half-baked conclusion that only results in viewers breathing a sigh of relief that the ongoing torture is finally over.
The only redeeming quality of this hunk of junk is the very opening scene that shows off some neat cinematography. After those first couple of minutes, the film veers into oncoming traffic and a head-on collision with inept visual effects. The CGI is so painfully bad, the only horror audiences experience is the fact this film received a distribution deal in the first place. In fact, because of the convoluted plot, atrocious writing, and amateurish special effects, Christophe is incapable of generating any suspense whatsoever, let alone fright.
As if in competition with the director of who can be the worst at their jobs, the cast provide dreadful performances that further stink up this rotting corpse of a film. Both of the leads, Jeremy Irvine and Hannah Emily Anderson, act as if they’re auditioning for a daytime soap opera. When they’re not overacting, they deliver lines in a flatlined manner, devoid of any natural emotional inflection. As a result, the characters feel like soulless NPCs that make viewers wish Mr. Pyramid Head would lop off all their heads.
This is not the kind of film adaptation that fans of the video game will still appreciate. In fact, those fans will feel even more insulted and infuriated over this utter waste of time and money. Similar to an ex-relationship being an ex for a reason, “Return to Silent Hill” brings nothing but heartache and a reduction in income. It’s best to revisit the original and forget this newest one even exists.
This movie earns:
