By Keith Walther | Rose Law Group Reporter
Legendary director Francis Ford Coppola, who is responsible for one of the greatest films of all time, “The Godfather Part II,” is now responsible for one of the worst films of all time. “Megalopolis” is a sci-fi epic of incoherence and self-indulged fantasy that does not deserve a single minute of screentime. The story is a complete mess with metaphorical imagery that borders more on the side of political propaganda than it does actual entertainment.
Basically, a brilliant yet egotistical architect named Cesar Catilina (Adam Driver) wishes to transform the city of New Rome into a utopian society, and he happens to have the inexplicable ability to stop time. Just like the old Rome, the empire is on the verge of collapse led by greedy Mayor Cicero (Giancarlo Esposito), who views Cesar as his archenemy for turning the population against him. The mayor’s daughter, Julia (Nathalie Emmanuel), falls in love with Cesar, testing her loyalty and creating friction with her father.
Meanwhile, Clodio Pulcher (Shia LaBeouf) is the son of Hamilton Crassus III (Jon Voight), the wealthiest and most powerful man in the city. Clodio is a petulant, childish, spoiled brat who feels spurned by Julia’s interest in Cesar rather than him. With the help of Wow Platinum (Aubrey Plaza), he seeks to take control of his father’s empire and take Cesar down in the process through whatever means necessary.
There’s a reason Hollywood refused to touch this film, let alone finance it, because it is an atrocious abomination. Francis Ford Coppola wrote, directed, and financed the entire production of at least $120 million out of his own pocket to get this movie on the big screen. It’s been a passion project that he’s been trying to make since the early 1980s, a passion that regretful viewers would have rather him kept to himself. He makes no attempt at continuity with nonsensical scenes haphazardly thrown together, each branching off with its own ideas and surreal visuals. It’s like peering into the dreams of a person suffering from dementia, turning it into a nightmare of inconsequential boredom for the viewer.
The stupefying plot and ridiculous visuals, which are made to be more nauseating through the obvious use of green screen, are only trumped by Coppola’s awfully written dialogue. Half of it seems to be reiterating famous quotes of historic figures, who are all likely rolling in their grave from having their words used in an insane trainwreck like this. If this writing is any reflection of the author, then Francis Ford Coppola is a pretentious egomaniac with shallow sensibilities. Judging from his alleged antics on set, like kissing and groping extras, this could very well be the case.
It has been several decades since Coppola made a decent film, but his well-earned reputation from his films of the 1970s still attracts top level acting talent. Unfortunately, a cast of multiple Oscar nominees and winners are made to look like fools, unable to overcome the atrocious dialogue, spewing their meaningless lines without intention or direction. It appears as if the actors and actresses had no clue who their characters were supposed to be, wandering through their dialogue in the dark without any light to guide them. None of the characters are the slightest bit relatable or redeemable, making any kind of connectivity impossible.
“Megalopolis” is a failure of epic proportions, both in terms of quality and box office returns, that will hopefully result in being the final production of 85-year-old Coppola’s career. Sitting through this nearly two-and-a-half-hour debacle is an extreme test of patience that the most devout of monks would struggle with, making self-immolation a more attractive option. Avoid this shameful and torturous display at all costs, unless you’re a glutton for punishment who enjoys the feeling of wanting to gouge out your own eyes.
This movie earns:
