By Kaya Laterman | New York Times
When Rebekah Carver decided to separate from her husband in 2023, she had one goal in mind.
“The eye of the prize was stability for my three children,” said Ms. Carver, 51. “I wanted to be respectful because the divorce would obviously cause disruption, but I wanted to keep some form of continuity.”
Ms. Carver, an associate real estate broker at Douglas Elliman Real Estate, said it took a long time for her to process what to do with her single-family home in the Ditmas Park neighborhood of Brooklyn.
“I normally make decisions very quickly, but in this case, I just couldn’t,” she said. “There were too many other things going on.”
Ultimately Ms. Carver and her former husband decided to nest, sometimes referred to as bird nesting, where children live in the family home full time while the parents rotate in and out. Couples who opt for this arrangement say it provides a buffer for the children during an unsettling time.
Kelsey Fischer, Family Law Attorney at Rose Law Group, says: Nesting may feel like keeping the peace, but in a community property state like Arizona, you’re not just sharing a home, you’re sharing a major asset and ongoing legal exposure. The house isn’t just where the kids sleep; it’s equity, liability, credit risk, and future negotiating power. These arrangements can absolutely work, but only if they’re treated as a short-term legal strategy with clear terms, defined financial responsibilities, and a solid exit plan. Stability for children is priceless but there must also be financial protections.
