10. First question on the application is, “Are you a cop?”
9. Acceptance letter reads, “Congratulations current resident”
8. On your first day, you’re asked to chair the physics department
7. To graduate, you need 32 credits or 32 Mountain Dew twist-off caps
6. Upon closer inspection, you see it’s called “Harvarb”
5. “Classroom” is just an abandoned storage locker
4. Lectures have a two-drink minimum
3. Dean is just a guy named Dean
2. Motto of the university is “No Refund”
1. 
President of the university is this guy
