By Phil Riske, managing editor
growlery (archaic) a place to retreat to, alone, when ill-humored
The always-entertaining Clay Thompson at The Republic wrote a column recently listing situations when a person should “shut up.”
Here’s an example: “If you go around telling people you are a dog, cat, tree, foot, cookie or whatever ‘whisperer,’ shut up.”
Thompson shut up too soon, so allow me to add my top 10.
If you blow a 1.6% on the breathalyzer but tell the officer you only had a couple beers on the way home from work, shut yo mouth!
If you tell your children, “You know, when I was a kid . . .” shut yo mouth!
When you baby talk to a pet, shut yo mouth!
If you believe “all the bums” in Congress should be thrown out, but you didn’t vote, shut yo mouth!
If you take a call on your cellphone in the library, shut yo mouth!
If your wife tells you you’re wrong, shut yo mouth!
If you just struck out and are about to question the umpire’s heritage, shut yo mouth!
If you’ve told all your out-of-state relatives it’s a dry heat, shut yo mouth!
If you tell friends you’re related to a famous movie star, shut yo mouth!
If you believe Arizona should seceded from the Union, shut yo mouth!
Tobi Firestone / Flickr
