Phoenix clocked its fifth consecutive day in March this year with temperatures above 95 degrees, the earliest that has happened since records began in 1895.
Look, we know you like to set records, such as most consecutive days at 100 degrees or above, but it’s time to knock it off. Okay?
Related: Under the sun: Metro Phoenix to hit 100 days of 100-degree heat
For six months now, you’ve made the sweetest people in the world grumpy, you’ve made scorpions sweat and you’ve turned the city into a crematorium.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know it’s a dry heart, but our humidity is bankrupt and might never recover.
We can only take so much, pal.
Listen to the Pope.
We’re struggling to conserve water and electrical energy, while you rise each morning with the sole intent to blister us with your rays.
Time to cool it, and thanks for listening.
Sincerely,
The Valley of the Sun
P.S. You used to be free until the utilities came along.