10. “I’m bleeding like a stuck hog and can’t talk right now.”
9. “Hello, Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s office.”
8. Start singing “You’re nothin’ but a houndog.”
7. “Not here, he’s/she’s serving 6 months for assaulting a salesman.”
6. “He’ll be back from vacation in 2 weeks. Can you hold?”
5. “Congratulations, you’ve won a $50,000 fine for calling someone on the federal No Call list.”
4. “10 . . . 9 . . . 8 . . . 7 . . .
3. “I’m wondering if you could repeat that for my pit bull.”
2. “In accordance with an order from the Justice Department, this call will be monitored as part of an investigation of illegal boilerplate organizations.” You may hang up to prevent being recorded.”
1. “Hi, sweetie, would you like to hook up?”
