Friday, December 14, 2012
10. Added two more engines to Air Force One – son of a bitch still won’t take off
9. At fundraising dinners, can’t stop eating long enough to give speech
8. Even Dick Cheney is worried about your health
7. Your lapel pin is a full-sized American flag
6. 1600 would be your street address as well as your weight
5. At Thanksgiving, you would never agree to pardon a turkey
4. Willing to “reach across the aisle,” but can’t fit down the aisle
3. When someone mentions Abraham Lincoln, all you hear is “ham”
2. While you campaign in Iowa, your ass is campaigning in Wisconsin
1. Barbara Walters has to ask, “Are you too fat to be president?”
