10. Only resemblance to Elvis is your cholesterol
9. Your tribute – a 90-minute Power Point presentation
8. You were born 20 years before Elvis
7. Your singing makes women scream, but not in a good way
6. The real Elvis had teeth
5. “Graceland” is the backseat of your Toyota Corolla
4. Your puppet does all the singing
3. You do Elvis’s sneer by lifting lip with finger
2. Entire act consists of adjusting your jumpsuit
1. You look less like Elvis in the ’50’s, more like Elvis today