Letterman’s Top 10 for Friday, Aug. 31

Things We At The Late Show Hoped To Accomplish By Our 19th Anniversary (with sound effects)

10. Convince Rupert Jee to offer a Late Show staff discount (Buzz)

9. Lower the bar in late night (Ding)

8. Hire Congressman Todd Akin as our science correspondent (Buzz)

7. Help Jennifer Aniston find the right guy (Ding)

6. Help Katie Holmes find the right guy (Buzz)

5. Contain, fire Richard Simmons (Ding)

4. Have Alan Kalter neutered (Ding)

3. Keep Dave alive (Ding) and vibrant (Buzz)

2. Debut a more impressive ‘ding’ sound effect (Gong)

1. Finally present a Top Ten list were the #1 item is funniest on the list (Buzz)

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