10. Stars Daniel Day-Lewis, but not that Daniel Day-Lewis
9. It’s entitled “Life of Pie”
8. Three-minute “movie” demonstrates safety procedures on JetBlue
7. It’s two hours of iPhone footage inadvertantly recorded in your pocket
6. Film was released “straight-to-dumpster”
5. It’s two hours of Donald Trump demanding to see Lincoln’s birth certificate
4. Film was in French, subtitles also in French
3. Tells the story of a vomiting robot
2. Can hear crew laughing whenever anyone says “Hitchcock”
1. Ebert gave it two middle-fingers up
