10. He greets customers with “Who sent you?”
9. Offers three toppings: sprinkles, nuts, and fire ants
8. Only works winters
7. On truck loudspeaker you hear him sobbing
6. Your scoop of “vanilla” turns out to be Crisco
5. Truck never slows below 85 miles per hour
4. Price of everything is “How much you got?”
3. He has licked everything in the truck
2. Keeps ice cream scoop warm in his pants
1. He’s wearing nothing but a sugar cone
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