Letterman’s Top Ten Things Going Through This Baby’s Mind At This Moment

Screen Shot 2013-05-11 at 5.46.30 AM10. “What’s everyone staring at?”

9. “You can go faster, it’s not like I’m a week old”

8. “Grip it and rip it, dude”

7. “Ah, this is just the vacation I needed”

6. “Next week: solid food and slalom”

5. “I’m getting too old for this crap”

4. “Takes my mind completely off teething”

3. “Isn’t this what Cheney did to people?”

2. “If I were old enough to talk, I’d say, ‘Aggghhhh!'”

1. “I could really go for a cigarette”

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