Day’s coming when everything in sports will need one of those asterisk thingies: From the Rose Law Group Growlery

By Phil Riske | Senior Reporter/Writer

Sports record books will look as follows as long as we keep tinkering with the games, supposedly to increase ticket sales and TV viewing numbers:

Diamondbacks 33, Padres 32*Highest one-game runs total since the low strike zone was altered in 2015.

Cardinals 67, Seattle 34*Highest scoring Super Bowl game since additional pass interference rules took effect in 2016.

Coyotes 17, Rangers 16*Highest scoring regular season NHL game since the width of the goal was changed to 10 feet in 2017

Suns 198 Lakers 189*Highest scoring NBA game since the 4-point shot became effective in 2017.

We’re in the age of low attention spans, so RLGR Growlery makes the following suggestions to shorten games:

Baseball—no fidgeting with batting gloves; no stepping out of the box unless a pitch forces you out, and if a player spits outside the dugout, he’s ejected.

Football—3 downs, no commercial breaks

Basketball—First team to 90 wins

Hockey—If a fight breaks out, the game is over, no matter the score.

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