By Keith Walther | Rose Law Group Reporter
It should come as no surprise that this movie is a raging dumpster fire, but the level of just how bad it gets is remarkable. “Werewolves” is an independent low budget horror flick that looks like it was made in a garage. The ridiculous premise, cringingly bad acting, horrendous visuals, and the worst writing in a film all year turn this into a laugher of eye-gouging proportions.
A year ago, a super moon event triggered a genetic mutation in humans, turning them into blood thirsty werewolves if exposed to the moonlight (which shows as a flashlight beam in this movie). On the eve of the next super moon, scientists think they may have found a chemical formula that may prevent this horrific transition from taking place. A team led by Dr. Aranda (Lou Diamond Phillips) and Wesley (Frank Grillo) try out the new compound on several volunteers, spraying them down from head to toe and then exposing them to the moonlight. It works, but only for an hour.
As the werewolves break free and wreak havoc, killing everyone in their path, Wesley and his colleague Amy (Katrina Law) try to escape and navigate their way through the city without turning into the vile beasts themselves. Meanwhile, Wesley’s sister-in-law Lucy (Ilfenesh Hadera) and young niece Emma (Kamdynn Gary) is holed up in their werewolf-proofed house hoping to survive the night. Wesley is desperate to return to his family before it’s too late.
Director Steven C. Miller has cornered the market on creating B movies that are head shakingly bad, like “Escape Plan 2: Hades” or “Arsenal.” So, it’s not shocking that “Werewolves” is another shameful notch in his belt of failures. He basically copies the exact format of “The Purge,” where everyone is doomsday prepping their house for a horrific night of bedlam but subs out murderous humans for werewolves. Miller halfheartedly tries to generate horror with lame jump scares and constantly flickering lights but the only fear he manufactures is the fear of having spent money on such a trashy movie.
The visuals Miller incorporates are nauseatingly bad. He relies on the old school method of practical effects instead of CGI, which sounds intriguing, but when these actors in the werewolf costumes make their appearance, laughter permeates the theater. They look like something off the set of the 80’s comedy “Big Trouble in Little China” that were repurposed for this film. Coupled with their goofy movements, they quickly become a bad joke with a faulty punchline. To top it off, the cinematography is some of the worst ever displayed in modern cinema. There were scenes where Miller couldn’t even keep the camera in focus.
Frank Grillo headlines the cast, who ironically starred in a couple of “The Purge” movies. This is the prototypical B movie action star reminiscent of the 1980s, so expectations should remain low. That being said, he provides the most palatable performance of the whole cast with his gruff, no-nonsense demeanor while showcasing his shirtless musculature. It’s only when he speaks that makes it difficult to watch, trying to sell lines like “Bite me,” or “Go fetch.” The rest of the cast fares much worse. It’s like amateur hour, unconvincingly relaying their lines with little to no emotional inflection. It certainly doesn’t help that the dialogue writing is laughably atrocious.
This is the type of film that will leave you wondering how it ever got a theatrical release in the first place. Even though “Werewolves” is the worst horror film of the year, it has one thing going for it, it’s still not as bad as “Megalopolis.” At least this movie is so bad it will make you laugh at it, which is not quality entertainment, but you can commiserate with whoever you watched this with like a couple of soldiers reminiscing over a shared war experience. Your best bet, however, is to simply not subject your eyes and brain to this kind of torture.
This movie earns:
