9. As a teen, fought off and killed a chuacabra
8. Driving Oscar Maye wienermobile, once jumped the Snake River Canyon
7. Able to survive on nothing but sunlight
6. Was inspiration for Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer”
5. Polls well where it counts, so to speak
4. Mitt Romney’s actually a lot of fun
3. The New York Jets will win the Super Bowl
2. Barney Frank? Womanizer
1. It’s not just Obama: All Hawaiians were born in Kenya